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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tornado
Tornadoes
Redneck
Describing
Sound
Times
Might
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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