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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tornado
Tornadoes
Redneck
Describing
Sound
Times
Might

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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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