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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tape
Bought
Might
Work
Redneck
Wrestling

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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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