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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Bought
Might
Work
Redneck
Wrestling
Tape

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy