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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Suppose
Cancer
Aren
Future
Kids

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Jeff Foxworthy
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy