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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
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Fighting
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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