Quote

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Funny
Dad
Learn
Parents
Kids
Humor
Theory
Tray
Television
Trays
Head
Pound
Parent
Pounds
Times
Pull

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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