Quote

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

Jeff Foxworthy

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Parent
Pounds
Times
Pull
Funny
Dad
Learn
Parents
Kids
Humor
Theory
Tray
Television
Trays
Head
Pound

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

Image
I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
Jeff Foxworthy
Image
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy