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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Spend
Teaching
Teacher
Stuff
Money
School
Children
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Jeff Foxworthy
As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy
We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
Jeff Foxworthy
Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Jeff Foxworthy
