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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Spend
Teaching
Teacher
Stuff
Money
School
Children
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
Jeff Foxworthy
I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
Jeff Foxworthy
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
Jeff Foxworthy
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
Jeff Foxworthy
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
Jeff Foxworthy
I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
Jeff Foxworthy
We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
