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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Children
Spend
Teaching
Teacher
Stuff
Money
School

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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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