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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Turkeys
Turkey
Sarcastic
Like
Cuddling

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You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
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You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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