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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Cuddling
Turkeys
Turkey
Sarcastic
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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