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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Cuddling
Turkeys
Turkey
Sarcastic
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More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
Jeff Foxworthy
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
Jeff Foxworthy
If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
Jeff Foxworthy
The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
Jeff Foxworthy
