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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Kids
Effort
Raising
Mean
Feeling
Took
Good
Turns
Humor
Funny
Side
Family
Comedy
Means
Turn
Father
Wife
Analytical
Feelings
Sides
Daddy
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy
