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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Hard
Woods
Real
Spent
Ticks
Would
Golf
Golfing
Tried
Tick
Comedy
Check
Half
Checks
Ends
Round
Play
Rounds

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
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You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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