Quote

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Spent
Ticks
Real
Golf
Golfing
Would
Tried
Tick
Comedy
Check
Half
Checks
Round
Ends
Rounds
Play
Woods
Hard

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You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
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If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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