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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Think
Third
Thinking
Thirds
Miles
Millionth
Humor
Flyer
Comedy
Flyers
Brain
Frequent
Funny
Snaps
Something
Mile
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
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We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
Jeff Foxworthy
Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
Jeff Foxworthy
