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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Prepares
Famous
Fame
Nothing
Life

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
Jeff Foxworthy
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
Jeff Foxworthy
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People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy