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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Prepares
Famous
Fame
Nothing
Life

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
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There's no down time any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
Jeff Foxworthy
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.
Jeff Foxworthy