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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Prepares
Famous
Fame
Nothing
Life

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy