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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Wife
True
Looks
Givin
Lately
Married
Ones
Comedy

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
Jeff Foxworthy