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Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
True
Looks
Givin
Lately
Married
Ones
Comedy
Wife

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
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I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I would love for someone to offer me a serious part in something. I don't know if I could even pull it off, but I would like to be the cowboy that rides off and someone shoots him off the horse in the middle of town. Just a serious role. It wouldn't have to be a big one.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
Jeff Foxworthy
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
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The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
Jeff Foxworthy
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
Jeff Foxworthy
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There's no down time any more.
Jeff Foxworthy