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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Humor
Funny
Stuff
Tell
People
Therapist
Therapists
Comedian
Shouldn
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Jeff Foxworthy
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
Jeff Foxworthy
Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Jeff Foxworthy
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy
