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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Tell
People
Therapist
Therapists
Comedian
Shouldn
Humor
Funny
Stuff
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Jeff Foxworthy
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Jeff Foxworthy
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy
Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication
Jeff Foxworthy
If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
Jeff Foxworthy
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
Jeff Foxworthy
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
Jeff Foxworthy
