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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Else
Someone
Ever
People
Verify
Ugly
Comedy
Seen

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'
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You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
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