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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
People
Verify
Ugly
Comedy
Seen
Else
Someone
Ever

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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There's no down time any more.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.
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As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
Jeff Foxworthy