Quote

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Comedy
Pretty
Sure
Diaper
Getting
Diapers
Funny
Grandmother
Going
Changing
Like
Humor
Present

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
Jeff Foxworthy
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What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Jeff Foxworthy
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
Jeff Foxworthy