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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Without
Wheels
Several
Car
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Home
Redneck
Might
Cars

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You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
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You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
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Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.
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Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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