Quote

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Like
Baby
Coming
Bernard
Funny
Wet
Born
Cat
Kids
Dog
Littles
Door
Little
Watching
Children
Doors

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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
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Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
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