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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Funny
Wet
Born
Cat
Kids
Dog
Littles
Door
Little
Watching
Children
Doors
Like
Baby
Coming
Bernard
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
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You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
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You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
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When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
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Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
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