Quote

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Funny
Wet
Born
Cat
Kids
Dog
Littles
Door
Little
Watching
Children
Doors
Like
Baby
Coming
Bernard

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You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.
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Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.
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You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
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It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
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You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
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You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
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You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.
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You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
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