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If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Television
Comedy
Working
Funny
Might
Redneck
Sits
Humor

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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
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I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
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I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
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You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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I really don't require a whole lot in life.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
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You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
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I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
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You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
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As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.
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You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
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You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
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You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
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I just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
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There's no down time any more.
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