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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Offering
Humor
Funny
Change
Ever
Might
Redneck
Made
Plate
Plates
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
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If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
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We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
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Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
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You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
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You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
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You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Jeff Foxworthy
