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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Goal
Funny
May
Fireworks
Redneck
Lifetime
Humor
Comedy
Stand
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
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If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.
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You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
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You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
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You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
Jeff Foxworthy
The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
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You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.
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You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
Jeff Foxworthy