Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Jeff Foxworthy
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Humor
Comedy
Stand
Goal
Funny
May
Fireworks
Redneck
Lifetime
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
Jeff Foxworthy
A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Jeff Foxworthy
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
Jeff Foxworthy
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.
Jeff Foxworthy
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Jeff Foxworthy