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You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Goal
Funny
May
Fireworks
Redneck
Lifetime
Humor
Comedy
Stand

More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
Jeff Foxworthy
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Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
Jeff Foxworthy
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[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Jeff Foxworthy
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I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
Jeff Foxworthy
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It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
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If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
Jeff Foxworthy