Quote

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

Jeff Foxworthy

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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Wanted
Accent
Always
Accents
People
Southern
Points
Whenever
Comedy
Heard
Used
Deduct

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You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
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The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'
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If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
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You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.
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You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
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I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.
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You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
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You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
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You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
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The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
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You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
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You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
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You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
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If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
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