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You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Jeff Foxworthy
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: September 6
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Voice Actor
Writer
Atlanta
Georgia
Much
Value
Humor
Goes
Comedy
Redneck
Values
Depending
Funny
Truck
Might
Gas
Book
Blue
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
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You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
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People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
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Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
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You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
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Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
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Country music is about new love and it's about old love.
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You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
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A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'
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You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
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You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
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You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
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I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
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Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges he got guys off the fishing docks.
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Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.
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You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
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It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
Jeff Foxworthy
