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I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.
Jeff Dunham
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Jeff Dunham
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: April 18
Actor
Comedian
Puppeteer
Ventriloquist
Voice Actor
Jeffrey Dunham
Ability
Perfect
Best
Everything
Trying
Always
Abilities
Aspect
Single
More quotes by Jeff Dunham
I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.
Jeff Dunham
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Jeff Dunham
I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while.
Jeff Dunham
I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.
Jeff Dunham
A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.
Jeff Dunham
I'm a geek to the bone.
Jeff Dunham
When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going there was no reason to quit.
Jeff Dunham
The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using the tongue, upper palate, and teeth only. Those 'difficult' letters are B, F, M, P, V, W, and Y.
Jeff Dunham
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
Jeff Dunham
I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just pretty much an average kid, no stand-out abilities, nothing note-worthy.
Jeff Dunham
I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'
Jeff Dunham
I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most of my friends was that I was an only child... I don't think that's why my parents gave me a dummy, at least they've never copped to it.
Jeff Dunham
You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.
Jeff Dunham
Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
Jeff Dunham
When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some shows at comedy clubs.
Jeff Dunham
I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.
Jeff Dunham
In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.
Jeff Dunham
There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.
Jeff Dunham
Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.
Jeff Dunham
There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the middle of the day and then pieces those together later.
Jeff Dunham