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I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'
Jeff Dunham
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Jeff Dunham
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: April 18
Actor
Comedian
Puppeteer
Ventriloquist
Voice Actor
Jeffrey Dunham
Living
Dummies
Suitcase
Dummy
Suitcases
Laden
Answer
Dead
Answers
More quotes by Jeff Dunham
The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using the tongue, upper palate, and teeth only. Those 'difficult' letters are B, F, M, P, V, W, and Y.
Jeff Dunham
I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while.
Jeff Dunham
I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.
Jeff Dunham
But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.
Jeff Dunham
You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.
Jeff Dunham
Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.
Jeff Dunham
Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on a major, I kept trying to figure out what would be the best major to enhance what I am doing as a performer.
Jeff Dunham
Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.
Jeff Dunham
I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.
Jeff Dunham
I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.
Jeff Dunham
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Jeff Dunham
There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the middle of the day and then pieces those together later.
Jeff Dunham
I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.
Jeff Dunham
When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going there was no reason to quit.
Jeff Dunham
I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.
Jeff Dunham
I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just pretty much an average kid, no stand-out abilities, nothing note-worthy.
Jeff Dunham
Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
Jeff Dunham
I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.
Jeff Dunham
Every character I've had in my act - none of them have a similar creation story. I actually thought up Peanut and designed him in my head. I described him to a woman that was making soft puppets and she drew up some sketches. And the character came to be just because he popped into my head.
Jeff Dunham
A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.
Jeff Dunham
