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I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just pretty much an average kid, no stand-out abilities, nothing note-worthy.

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff Dunham
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: April 18
Actor
Comedian
Puppeteer
Ventriloquist
Voice Actor
Jeffrey Dunham
Girl
Average
Didn
Girls
Kids
Pay
Nothing
Stand
Abilities
Great
Pretty
Note
Much
Sports
Popular
Attention
Notes
Ability
Worthy

More quotes by Jeff Dunham

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I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.
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I'm a geek to the bone.
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I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most of my friends was that I was an only child... I don't think that's why my parents gave me a dummy, at least they've never copped to it.
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Every character I've had in my act - none of them have a similar creation story. I actually thought up Peanut and designed him in my head. I described him to a woman that was making soft puppets and she drew up some sketches. And the character came to be just because he popped into my head.
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Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on a major, I kept trying to figure out what would be the best major to enhance what I am doing as a performer.
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When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
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Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
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We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar guy, the tour manager and a writer. We laugh ourselves silly. Apparently we're going to have a road dog, a miniature pincher. It's the smallest they've ever seen. How masculine am I going to look, working with dolls and a miniature dog?
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You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.
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In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.
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I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.
Jeff Dunham
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When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going there was no reason to quit.
Jeff Dunham
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A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.
Jeff Dunham
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I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.
Jeff Dunham
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I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while.
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I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'
Jeff Dunham
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There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.
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If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
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When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some shows at comedy clubs.
Jeff Dunham
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I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.
Jeff Dunham