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I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff Dunham
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: April 18
Actor
Comedian
Puppeteer
Ventriloquist
Voice Actor
Jeffrey Dunham
Hummer
Prius
Grill
Pick
Picks
Used

More quotes by Jeff Dunham

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Every character I've had in my act - none of them have a similar creation story. I actually thought up Peanut and designed him in my head. I described him to a woman that was making soft puppets and she drew up some sketches. And the character came to be just because he popped into my head.
Jeff Dunham
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There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.
Jeff Dunham
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We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar guy, the tour manager and a writer. We laugh ourselves silly. Apparently we're going to have a road dog, a miniature pincher. It's the smallest they've ever seen. How masculine am I going to look, working with dolls and a miniature dog?
Jeff Dunham
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The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using the tongue, upper palate, and teeth only. Those 'difficult' letters are B, F, M, P, V, W, and Y.
Jeff Dunham
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When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some shows at comedy clubs.
Jeff Dunham
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I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most of my friends was that I was an only child... I don't think that's why my parents gave me a dummy, at least they've never copped to it.
Jeff Dunham
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When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
Jeff Dunham
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I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.
Jeff Dunham
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I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.
Jeff Dunham
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When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going there was no reason to quit.
Jeff Dunham
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There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the middle of the day and then pieces those together later.
Jeff Dunham
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Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
Jeff Dunham
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I'm a geek to the bone.
Jeff Dunham
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I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just pretty much an average kid, no stand-out abilities, nothing note-worthy.
Jeff Dunham
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Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.
Jeff Dunham
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Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.
Jeff Dunham
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You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.
Jeff Dunham
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But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.
Jeff Dunham
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I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.
Jeff Dunham
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In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.
Jeff Dunham