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I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

Jeff Dunham

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Jeff Dunham
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: April 18
Actor
Comedian
Puppeteer
Ventriloquist
Voice Actor
Jeffrey Dunham
Picks
Used
Hummer
Prius
Grill
Pick

More quotes by Jeff Dunham

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In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.
Jeff Dunham
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I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.
Jeff Dunham
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I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.
Jeff Dunham
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Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on a major, I kept trying to figure out what would be the best major to enhance what I am doing as a performer.
Jeff Dunham
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When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
Jeff Dunham
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If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Jeff Dunham
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I'm a geek to the bone.
Jeff Dunham
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I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while.
Jeff Dunham
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When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some shows at comedy clubs.
Jeff Dunham
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I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'
Jeff Dunham
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Every character I've had in my act - none of them have a similar creation story. I actually thought up Peanut and designed him in my head. I described him to a woman that was making soft puppets and she drew up some sketches. And the character came to be just because he popped into my head.
Jeff Dunham
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But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.
Jeff Dunham
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I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.
Jeff Dunham
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There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.
Jeff Dunham
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I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.
Jeff Dunham
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I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just pretty much an average kid, no stand-out abilities, nothing note-worthy.
Jeff Dunham
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You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.
Jeff Dunham
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A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.
Jeff Dunham
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Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
Jeff Dunham
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There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the middle of the day and then pieces those together later.
Jeff Dunham