To begin to use cultural forces for the good of our daughters we must first shake ourselves awake from the cultural trance we all live in. This is no small matter, to untangle our true beliefs from what we have been taught to believe about who and what girls and women are.

A girl in the middle years also becomes more centered in her soul-life, the feelings of her heart, and she needs our guidance to learn to express her uniqueness, those small seeds that will someday sprout into gifts, talents, and resources.

A girl must allow others to share the responsibility for care, thus enabling others to care for her. She must learn how to care inways appropriate to her age, her desires, and her needs she then acts with authenticity. She must be allowed the freedom not to care she then has access to a wide range of feelings and is able to care more fully.