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She’ll have no lover, for I don’t want her and she’ll see no other.

Jean Rhys

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Jean Rhys
Age: 88 †
Born: 1890
Born: August 24
Died: 1979
Died: May 14
Novelist
Writer
Ella Gwendolen Rees Williams
Ella Rees Williams
Lover
Lovers

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I like shape very much. A novel has to have shape, and life doesn't have any.
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And then the days came when I was alone.
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When I think about it, if I had to choose, I'd rather be happy than write.
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I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know.
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I am the only real truth I know.
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She had left me thirsty and all my life would be thirst and longing for what I had lost before I found it.
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I must write. If I stop writing my life will have been an abject failure. It is that already to other people. But it could be an abject failure to myself. I will not have earned death.
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Now I no longer wish to be loved, beautiful, happy or successful. I want one thing and one thing only - to be left alone.
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She haunted him, as an ungenerous action haunts one.
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I am sad, sad as a circus-lioness.
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There are always two deaths, the real one and the one people know about.
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I hadn't bargained for this. I didn't think it would be like this - shabby clothes, worn-out shoes, circles under your eyes, your hair getting straight and lanky, the way people look at you. ... I didn't think it would be like this
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It's so easy to make a person who hasn't got anything seem wrong.
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Cold - cold as truth, cold as life. No, nothing can be as cold as life.
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I watched her die many times. In my way, not in hers. In sunlight, in shadow, by moonlight, by candlelight. In the long afternoons when the house was empty. Only the sun was there to keep us company. We shut him out. And why not? Very soon she was as eager for what's called loving as I was - more lost and drowned afterwards.
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When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me.
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Even the one moment that you thought was your eternity fades out and is forgotten and dies.
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The woman had a humble, cringing manner. Of course, she had discovered that, having neither money nor virtue, she had better be humble if she knew what was good for her.
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Your red dress,’ she said, and laughed. But I looked at the dress on the floor and it was as if the fire had spread across the room. It was beautiful and it reminded me of something I must do. I will remember I thought. I will remember quite soon now.
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Human beings are struggling, and so they are egoists. But it's wrong to say that they are wholy cruel - it's a deformed view.
Jean Rhys