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It is strange how sad it can be - sunlight in the afternoon, don't you think?

Jean Rhys

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Jean Rhys
Age: 88 †
Born: 1890
Born: August 24
Died: 1979
Died: May 14
Novelist
Writer
Ella Gwendolen Rees Williams
Ella Rees Williams
Afternoon
Strange
Think
Thinking
Sunlight

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As it was in the beginning, ... is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
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She had left me thirsty and all my life would be thirst and longing for what I had lost before I found it.
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She’ll have no lover, for I don’t want her and she’ll see no other.
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You can pretend for a long time, but one day it all falls away and you are alone. We are alone in the most beautiful place in the world.
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Stephan was secretive and a liar, but he was a very gentle and expert lover. She was the petted, cherished child, the desired mistress, the worshipped, perfumed goddess. She was all these things to Stephan - or so he made her believe.
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Now I no longer wish to be loved, beautiful, happy or successful. I want one thing and one thing only - to be left alone.
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Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks.
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I am sad, sad as a circus-lioness.
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The feeling of Sunday is the same everywhere, heavy, melancholy, standing still.
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I watched her die many times. In my way, not in hers. In sunlight, in shadow, by moonlight, by candlelight. In the long afternoons when the house was empty. Only the sun was there to keep us company. We shut him out. And why not? Very soon she was as eager for what's called loving as I was - more lost and drowned afterwards.
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I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know.
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And what does anyone know about traitors, or why Judas did what he did?
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...I know all about myself now, I know. You've told me so often. You haven't left me one rag of illusion to clothe myself in.
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Next week, or next month, or next year I will kill myself. But I might as well last out my month's rent, which has been paid up.
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One realized all sorts of things. The value of an illusion, for instance, and that the shadow can be more important than the substance. All sorts of things.
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Of course she had some pathetic illusions about herself or she would not be able to go on living.
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He had discovered that people who allow themselves to be blown about by the winds of emotion and impulse are always unhappy people.
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There is no doubt that running away on a fresh, blue morning can be exhilarating.
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It was like letting go and falling back into water and seeing yourself grinning up through the water, your face like a mask, and seeing the bubbles coming up as if you were trying to speak from under the water. And how do you know what it's like to try to speak from under water when you're drowned?
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