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I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

Jean Kerr

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Jean Kerr
Age: 82 †
Born: 1922
Born: July 10
Died: 2005
Died: January 5
Author
Playwright
Writer
Scranton
Pennsylvania
Bridget Jean Collins
Always
Elevators
Closing
Shopping
Store
Stores
Lasts
Last
Woman
Elevator

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I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.
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I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.
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Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!
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Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.
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... it's impossible to register any emotion without using some muscle which, in time, will produce a wrinkle. ... By the time she is thirty, a starlet has been carefully taught to smile like a dead halibut. The eyes widen, the mouth drops open, but the eye muscles are never involved.
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Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.
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I will read anything rather than work.
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I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.
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Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
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An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.
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I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.
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A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
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The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
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In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.
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The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
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When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.
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I make mistakes I'll be the second to admit it.
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I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.
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The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
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I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
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