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Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Fear
Mortal
Seats
Mortals
Fantastic
Rivers
Room
Joan
Rooms
Seat
Lives
Filling

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Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, It was pretty good. If anyone thinks my show was pretty good, then I've completely failed. I think every comic should think that.
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I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
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When I watch like The Office I'm fascinated because most of America works in an environment where they see the same eight people every day.
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There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
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Yogi Berra put it best, If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.
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I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.
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I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
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I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
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There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.
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There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever.
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I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
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You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars? or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
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When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken. It is a bit of a moral victory.
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If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
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You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.
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If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.
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When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
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You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
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I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
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