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I think stand-up's, the older they get, the better they get.
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
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Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Older
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More quotes by Jay Mohr
I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
Jay Mohr
If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.
Jay Mohr
I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
Jay Mohr
Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
Jay Mohr
If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.
Jay Mohr
I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
Jay Mohr
It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. [Christophen] Walken is easy I can do it in my sleep. They all know it by heart. I did it on The Simpsons. I'm surprised that people still want to hear it.
Jay Mohr
But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
Jay Mohr
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
Jay Mohr
[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
Jay Mohr
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Jay Mohr
My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
Jay Mohr
After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
Jay Mohr
This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
Jay Mohr
Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
Jay Mohr
Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
Jay Mohr
When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
Jay Mohr
I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
Jay Mohr
I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.
Jay Mohr
True Yankees are born, not made.
Jay Mohr