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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Modify
Inability
Comic
Nine
Five
More quotes by Jay Mohr
There was never a moment in George Carlin's career where he dipped below an A+. When he came out with the Hippie Dippie Weatherman on The Tonight Show, I mean, it seems so mundane now, but it was in black and white TV and the whole bit was that this guy smoked tons of grass and was a terrible weather man. Forecast for tonight? Dark.
Jay Mohr
What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.
Jay Mohr
What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
Jay Mohr
Yogi Berra put it best, If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.
Jay Mohr
I started to have panic attacks on stage and my wife just asked, Why don't you just stop? I was doing Ghost Whisperer at the time so I was making enough money where I could put it away and she said, Then, when you go back, you just go up and tell the truth. And it's a lot more tiring.
Jay Mohr
I think stand-up's, the older they get, the better they get.
Jay Mohr
I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
Jay Mohr
The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.
Jay Mohr
Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
Jay Mohr
[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
Jay Mohr
My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
Jay Mohr
If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
Jay Mohr
I've always been very open about it. I've been very open about my addiction, about my panic disorder. But I think that transparency is what can separate you from others because I think that is where comedy is going.
Jay Mohr
This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
Jay Mohr
If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.
Jay Mohr
If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
Jay Mohr
I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
Jay Mohr
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Jay Mohr
I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
Jay Mohr
I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.
Jay Mohr