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You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars? or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
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Really
Dog
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Christopher
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Airline
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More quotes by Jay Mohr
There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever.
Jay Mohr
I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
Jay Mohr
I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
Jay Mohr
I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
Jay Mohr
I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.
Jay Mohr
I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
Jay Mohr
I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
Jay Mohr
If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.
Jay Mohr
I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
Jay Mohr
If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
Jay Mohr
Yogi Berra put it best, If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.
Jay Mohr
I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
Jay Mohr
If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.
Jay Mohr
This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
Jay Mohr
All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
Jay Mohr
[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
Jay Mohr
But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
Jay Mohr
You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.
Jay Mohr
I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
Jay Mohr
I've always been very open about it. I've been very open about my addiction, about my panic disorder. But I think that transparency is what can separate you from others because I think that is where comedy is going.
Jay Mohr
