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You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars? or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Went
Rent
Happened
Tails
Talk
Hey
Wanted
Cars
Really
Dog
Willy
Car
Christopher
Crazy
Airline
Food
Tail

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I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don't know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.
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I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
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I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
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If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
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[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
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I started to have panic attacks on stage and my wife just asked, Why don't you just stop? I was doing Ghost Whisperer at the time so I was making enough money where I could put it away and she said, Then, when you go back, you just go up and tell the truth. And it's a lot more tiring.
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I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
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If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
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What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.
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I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.
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But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
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All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
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There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.
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There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
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When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken. It is a bit of a moral victory.
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I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
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You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.
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Yogi Berra put it best, If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.
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After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
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